I got home about 3:00 o'clock today and spent some time giving the doggies lots of hugs and love while they cooed and barked and gave me lots of kisses. If nothing else, having dogs really makes you feel missed when you have been away for a couple of days!

I arrived at Brushwood on Thursday evening almost exactly at 4:00 pm. Signed in at the office and made my way to the field. By chance the first people I ran into were sitting in front of Skip's trailer, there I found, not only Skip (ADF's Archdruid), but also Ian Corrigan, and Isaac Bonewits (the founder of ADF). I knew I was camping with the Sassafras/Wild Onion gang (previously known as the Sassy Onion camp fire but now known as either the Silver Sassy Onions or the Falls on your Sassy Onions campsite) but none of them had made it there yet. Skip told me where he thought they were camping (right next to the playground area (the round house side) for those of you who have been to Brushwood before) so I set up my tent. It was only after sitting up that I realized there was a water spigot right behind my tent and that the 4 flusher (bathrooms) were right behind my tent, across the road, as well. Go me for the win!

That first evening was mostly spent meeting new people, meeting people in person I had only known online, and catching up with existing friends (I am not going to make a list because there are so many I will forget some of them for sure). I went to the opening rite which was nice but, in my opinion, over-long. It was cold, cold out though and I spent some time in the hot-tub before heading to bed.

Friday there were two workshops I wanted to attend but ended up missing them both. One was way too early and the other slipped my mind. I did make it to the Wellspring Bardic Competition for Storytelling and after the competitors had performed told my own "The Story of Pan and Selene." I almost never get stage fright but the way I wrote this story was that it was not obvious who I was speaking about at first if I did not tell them the title, and I didin't, and so I had all these very serious and engaged people looking at me and following every word and a jolt of nerves shot through me, people I asked said they didn't even notice but I know my hands were shaking really badly. Still... I think it went well I got a lot of compliments for my short little story. It was written for the Bardic Guild and therefore pretty short, much shorter than the stories the competitors were telling. Later in the day I went the poetry competition as well. There were four competitors by the way; Missy, Emerald, Growlyn (sp?), and Isaac Bonewits. They were all very good, I thought, in all three categories. Friday evening Tear of the Cloud Grove, ADF offered us a American/memorial day/honoring the war dead rite. I went with a little trepidation but in the end am very happy I did. They all did a fine job and the rite was very moving for many in attendance, lots of tears and personal offerings. I still find find the choice of ritual clothing for the leaders amusing but it really did work in the end. Let's put it this way, I don't expect I will be at a Druid circle in the woods anytime again soon where 5 or 6 of the attendees are wearing very smart, gray suits (by the way I forgot to pick up my ego on the way out so if anyone sees it lying around please let me know). Friday evening was pretty chill really, most people seemed to go to bed early and I did as well.

Saturday was pretty blah for me. i did not sleep well on Friday (need better sleeping bag if I return next year) and just was not in the mood all day to really do anything. I did go to the final round of the Bardic Chair competition and I am glad I did. We have some amazing Bards in ADF and I was so proud to have two friends battling each other (in a very friendly way) down to the line for the win. Later that night was the big pot-luck where they announced that Emerald had won the chair but they also asked Missy to perform her song for all in attendance because it was it was made of awesome. I really hope this tradition continues, and perhaps spreads to other festivals, I also hope we can find a way to film and record these events in the future. They tried this time but I am not sure how well it worked, because sharing the work of these talented people should make us all proud. I also went and drummed for about an hour at the round house, mostly so I can just say I did it, but my style of drumming doesn't really fit with the "lets drum as fast and loud as we can" crowd and so I came back pretty quickly. The Silver Sassy Onion fire was awesome that night. Sassafras has a lot talented people and I enjoyed hearing them singing for us.

I think, if it is possible, I did even less on Sunday than on Saturday. I basically just sat around for the first 3/4 of the day. I went to the annual meeting (and almost left several times) and sat way in the back outside of the pavilion and smoked like a chimney to keep myself from making little snide comments. Not because it was a "bad" meeting but because the only focus, and I really mean only, was on cheering about how much good we have done in ADF. There was no honest look at those areas where we are not doing as well. By the end of the weekend though I had my chance to say what I needed to say and to volunteer to be part of the solution rather than just a voice of opposition. After the meeting I pretty much went right back to sitting around and doing nothing and oddly enough there was about a 3 hour period there which ended up being my most productive of the whole weekend. I was able to meet with some people and explain where my hurts and frustrations were and my to speak with friends at the camp site face-to-face which helped me to view what I could do for the organization from a different perspective than I had been before.

Sunday night was the main rite for the weekend. Our key offerings were on the "ancient wise", the "Earth Mother", and "the Gatekeeper" (of which I will be writing about more I suspect) and the main imphasis of the rite was the initiation of the 3 Archdruid Emeritus; Ian Corrigan, Isaac Bonewits, and John "Fox" Alderman - who came in, basically, just for this rite and our currently serving Archdruid -- and soon to be Archdruid Emeritus humself -- Rober"Skip" Ellision. We all sent energy from ourselves and drawing on the power of all of ADF into 9 elder women who passed it on the 4 gentlemen being initiated. I am normally not all about specific gender roles in ADF, in fact I have been known to flaunt them to some pretty effective results, but this time it somehow felt appropriate. Perhaps because all 4 of our past Archdruids have been men, or perhaps just because they did the rite well. I am not sure what it was but, like the memorial day rite, I went in with trepidation and in the end was very happy with the results. I got a little drunk on Sunday night and I am afraid I opened my mouth again. I am afraid that if I had kept it bottled inside that it would have caused greater problems in the future so. at the very least, I shared my truth. I hope it was in a constructive way and I hope my friends knew that I meant it in a way that upheld the love and respect I have for them.

After another restless 4 hours of cold sleep (I really, really need to get a better sleeping bag next time I go camping in May) I got up this morning (Monday) about 7:00 am and broke camp over the next couple hours. The final circle in the nemeton was lovely and I really felt encouraged and supported as I left to head home. After about a zillion hugs (and two very important kisses) I hopped in the car and headed home.

In the end I have mixed feelings about Wellspring this year. I feel like I came with some very explicate goals and (for various reasons) felt a bit stifled in reaching them. In other ways I feel great that I have been able to make some really important friends and to meet people in real life that I have only known as a name and an avatar online. And able to revisit and uphold those relationships I have been building over the last year, as well as make inroads to those relationships that have been strained.

I honestly was less than impressed with Brushwood, it was noisier, dirtier, and just plain uglier than I ever expected it to be.

That's enough for now, it is wonderful to be home!
~ Jamie